My Humbling Path to Finding my Voice Again

After closing my clinical practice of over a decade to transition fully into coaching, and I was determined to hit the ground running.  I was eager to make the most of the extra time to promote my business and increase my social media presence.

I’ve been blessed with a tremendous ability to focus.  The downside, being that it also comes at the cost of forgetting to eat, and possibly working well into the wee hours of the night.   At this point I had been working weekends too…there was just SO MUCH to get done, with no end in sight.

I was crossing tasks off my to-do list with unyielding tenacity and great pride until Christmas Eve, I got sick….like, really sick.  It started with the flu, then it evolved into laryngitis — I lost my voice completely for over a week and partially for much longer… it just seemed to keep going and going.

I was being forced to stop and the worst part about it was that I HAD LOST MY VOICE.

Here I was, at a stage in my business where I was ready to GO OUT THERE and SHARE MY MESSAGE IN A BIGGER WAY and I couldn’t speak.  I couldn’t do what I wanted to do the most: teach and make videos…I felt completely helpless.

So I surrendered.  I surrendered to the pain and discomfort, and to the fact that there was nothing I could do but just be sick.  I tried all of my go-to remedies, even antibiotics, and nothing worked.

That’s when my suspicion was confirmed…this was no ordinary cold-season bug.  This was a lesson. This was my body taking a stand, and taking away what mattered most to me because clearly, I wasn’t listening.

So I started listening. My recovery required nothing less than ACTIVE and CONSISTENT PARTICIPATION on my part, multiple self-care regimes throughout the day, and slowly and gradually, I started to feel better.

My body was forcing me to turn my attention back to my body. The most painful part of that whole experience was realizing that

I WAS SELF-DESTRUCTING IN THE NAME OF AMBITION!

I had hurt myself and neglected my needs chasing after a narrowly-focused goal.

As I write this I’m still recovering, and my voice still isn’t 100%, but I can say that I’m very grateful for this experience.

I’m grateful that it didn’t have to be worse for me to get back on track.  It took this utter failure to help me see how important I am to ME, how precious it is to have a VOICE, to EXPRESS MYSELF and SHARE MY IDEAS.  I need to pay more attention to honouring this body, its limitations and giving myself the same loving care that I wish for others.

Your turn:

In what areas of life have you been neglecting your needs?

How does your body let you know that you’ve gone too far?

What can you do to create more balance in your day-to-day life?

May we all move towards greater integrity with ourselves,

Larissa